Friday, December 24, 2010

Comments on "I Simply Don't Exist"

Well, I wrote this poem last week, the 17th to be exact, after my X and I had one of our "episodes".  In this saga, the X, really showed me how inconsiderate and unconcerned he was about my well being.  It finally sunk in and of course I'm having a hard time with it.  I don't understand what it means not to have empathy for someone else.  Especially someone you care about.  Empathy doesn't necessarily mean that you have to agree with the person, it just means you can understand why that person may act the way they do.

All I can think to myself is after 13 years of marriage, 3 kids, and everything we've gone through, you cannot empathize with me and extend some help that is not monetary?  Just because we are divorced, it doesn't mean we have to be arch enemies.  This man really hates me.  He really does.  He hasn't forgiven me for divorcing him, for not giving us another chance, for not believing he was taking our problems seriously.

After our episode, I was so hurt, my BFF ended up calling him.  She was just trying to explain that I was tired and going through some things.  His response:  "I don't care what she's going through.  I was forced to move on and that is what I have done.  So her state of mind or whatever is happening to her is none of my concern."  My BFF: "But you have children together, she's not going anywhere."  The X: "that is true, I guess I'll just have to figure that out".

It's so funny how he can ask to use my discount card at the store I work to buy Xmas for the kids, or ask me to change days with him during the week, or pick up the kids bcuz he wasn't going to make it on time.  I helped when I could which was most of the time because it dealt with the kids.  Apparently, empathy is a one way street with him.

The golden rule says "treat others as you want to be treated".  This sounds to me to be the same as "treat others how they have treated you".  So from now on that is what I'm going to do.  Otherwise I am going to continue to have the same feelings I had when we were married, used, unappreciated, and disrespected.

Poem:  I Simply Don't Exist

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